Sunday, August 31, 2003
The Ups & Downs of PMS
Your boobs get bigger - but then so does the rest of your body.
If you were thinking of sex before - call this "double overdrive".
Great for excuses - always in need of an Advil.
Mood swings- with a bit more depression on top.
Coming soon ... "The Red Flag"
Your boobs get bigger - but then so does the rest of your body.
If you were thinking of sex before - call this "double overdrive".
Great for excuses - always in need of an Advil.
Mood swings- with a bit more depression on top.
Coming soon ... "The Red Flag"
j'ai finis! I've finished my project and my journal! oooh yes. Now i still have to do my readings and more research for tuesday, but im gonna jump around first and scream "eureka" until my throat hurts. *grin* gotta study for theology...
doing my project. and i'm exhausted. i swear, i wish this group would be a WHOLE LOT more organized.
thankful? that i have 3 computers in the house now - one of which is my dads... two of which are hooked up to the internet. the fact that my sister isn't using the net helps too. both of em.
7.30 am to "convene"? who are they fucking kiddin.
pirates of the carribean (sp?) i said it was missing an "oomph" ... he says its missing a lot more. hehe. i still support the fact that SINBAD is better. pickles and eggs.
just munched... totally bloated again, those darn bananas were too hard to resist! IM SORRYyyy....but i did eat some steamed fish and ransacked the salad bowl... with lots of blue cheese! uhm yum!
my mother has a computer that is way too high tech for her... while the capabilities of the computer are really -- editing movies, ability to create animation and the most kickass graphics, not to mention the perfect server for internet -- is subjected to: using microsoft works... and making zed cards on microsoft works... and that. is. it! GOOD GAWD. oh-- and its the reason why i don't have a car yet.
aaaAAaaaaAAaaaaAAAARGH!
thankful? that i have 3 computers in the house now - one of which is my dads... two of which are hooked up to the internet. the fact that my sister isn't using the net helps too. both of em.
7.30 am to "convene"? who are they fucking kiddin.
pirates of the carribean (sp?) i said it was missing an "oomph" ... he says its missing a lot more. hehe. i still support the fact that SINBAD is better. pickles and eggs.
just munched... totally bloated again, those darn bananas were too hard to resist! IM SORRYyyy....but i did eat some steamed fish and ransacked the salad bowl... with lots of blue cheese! uhm yum!
my mother has a computer that is way too high tech for her... while the capabilities of the computer are really -- editing movies, ability to create animation and the most kickass graphics, not to mention the perfect server for internet -- is subjected to: using microsoft works... and making zed cards on microsoft works... and that. is. it! GOOD GAWD. oh-- and its the reason why i don't have a car yet.
aaaAAaaaaAAaaaaAAAARGH!
things i like & things i don't:
like...
- french fries, chicken, plapla, kuhol w/ gata, fish bagoong
- john cusack, heath ledger, mel gibson, ewan mcgregor, gene kelly
- cameron diaz, jennifer lopez, catherine zeta jones
- fame, amelie, monty python, cannonball, lilo & stitch, sinbad,
roman holiday, secretary, wedding planner, y tu mama tambien,
she's all that, mists of avalon, a knight's tale, mulan, lord of the rings!,
harry potter, sixth sense, singing in the rain, shallow hall, men in tights,
princess bride, the last unicorn (will think of more then update)
- big pink lilies, red roses
- adidas, nike, fila and puma... aka, all sport brands suit
- my horses - specifically shazzie, lani and the three amigos at the farm (ginger, gretchen & scottie)
- who's line's it anyway, that 70's show, frasier, friends, sex and the city
- dreamworks!
- snoop dog, u2, pharrel, justin t (now), p.diddy, no doubt, jack johnson, john mayer,
jennifer lopez, smashing pumpkins, aerosmith, matchbox20, sean paul, fat joe,
nelly, christina aguilera (now), stone temple pilots, backstreet boys, blind melon,
nirvana, rez, paul van dyk, the beatles, save ferris, kelly clarkson, the white stripes,
the bangles, the strokes (thank you) (will think or more then update)
- mists of avalon, speak, slammerkin, that depressing wideacre book was of interest though,
road to avalon, harry potter
- kids at jllc, they rock
- my body @ prom
- digital cameras
- donita rose
- celphone
- boogie boardin'
- beating chris' ass at basketball
- air con
- road trips with friends/ trips, period!
- trail riding
- sincerity, honesty, trust, friendship... so much. =)
- good music videos
- blue, purple, pink, red, black
i dont dig.
- people who think they're the shit (aka overadvertise the fact that they host a show, or sing... or whatever.)
- exes (man or woman).
- being left out
- cruelty to animals
- roadkill
- beef lasagna
- lechon, porkchop... pork. period.
- avril lavigne,
- heart evangelista, patty & johan, carlos agassi, lana asanin, kc "c"...
- depression
- people who overanalyze something not worth analyzing!
- my celphone's battery
- when i run out of credit
- long distance phonecalls i cant make because i dont have long distance nor internet in my room/celphone *cries*
- makulit people
- when people get hurt
- leaving my door open
- sleazy creeps
- being ignored
- not fitting into my jeans
- cheeky girls, a1, westlife, natural, b*witched... any other cheesy ass band that needs to be shot.
- PMS
it's just that i've never quite organized these things... from now on, i'm going to have solid answers when im interviewed. i hate being unprepared. pweh.
like...
- french fries, chicken, plapla, kuhol w/ gata, fish bagoong
- john cusack, heath ledger, mel gibson, ewan mcgregor, gene kelly
- cameron diaz, jennifer lopez, catherine zeta jones
- fame, amelie, monty python, cannonball, lilo & stitch, sinbad,
roman holiday, secretary, wedding planner, y tu mama tambien,
she's all that, mists of avalon, a knight's tale, mulan, lord of the rings!,
harry potter, sixth sense, singing in the rain, shallow hall, men in tights,
princess bride, the last unicorn (will think of more then update)
- big pink lilies, red roses
- adidas, nike, fila and puma... aka, all sport brands suit
- my horses - specifically shazzie, lani and the three amigos at the farm (ginger, gretchen & scottie)
- who's line's it anyway, that 70's show, frasier, friends, sex and the city
- dreamworks!
- snoop dog, u2, pharrel, justin t (now), p.diddy, no doubt, jack johnson, john mayer,
jennifer lopez, smashing pumpkins, aerosmith, matchbox20, sean paul, fat joe,
nelly, christina aguilera (now), stone temple pilots, backstreet boys, blind melon,
nirvana, rez, paul van dyk, the beatles, save ferris, kelly clarkson, the white stripes,
the bangles, the strokes (thank you) (will think or more then update)
- mists of avalon, speak, slammerkin, that depressing wideacre book was of interest though,
road to avalon, harry potter
- kids at jllc, they rock
- my body @ prom
- digital cameras
- donita rose
- celphone
- boogie boardin'
- beating chris' ass at basketball
- air con
- road trips with friends/ trips, period!
- trail riding
- sincerity, honesty, trust, friendship... so much. =)
- good music videos
- blue, purple, pink, red, black
i dont dig.
- people who think they're the shit (aka overadvertise the fact that they host a show, or sing... or whatever.)
- exes (man or woman).
- being left out
- cruelty to animals
- roadkill
- beef lasagna
- lechon, porkchop... pork. period.
- avril lavigne,
- heart evangelista, patty & johan, carlos agassi, lana asanin, kc "c"...
- depression
- people who overanalyze something not worth analyzing!
- my celphone's battery
- when i run out of credit
- long distance phonecalls i cant make because i dont have long distance nor internet in my room/celphone *cries*
- makulit people
- when people get hurt
- leaving my door open
- sleazy creeps
- being ignored
- not fitting into my jeans
- cheeky girls, a1, westlife, natural, b*witched... any other cheesy ass band that needs to be shot.
- PMS
it's just that i've never quite organized these things... from now on, i'm going to have solid answers when im interviewed. i hate being unprepared. pweh.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
VMAs I found myself attracted to JT tonight. That's so frickin' wrong. All my promises. My swearing that i would never hail to an "nsyncer" has just gone down the frickin' drain. then again, my boyfriend's into britney (who's getting booorrr-iiing) ...
not.
first frickin time i think i'd EVER been turned on by two women ....
ayayay... so this is how you deal with "not" being jealous, cuz once your boyfriend sees this. he's gonna be in the bathroom for a while, and it ain't gonna be cause of you.
not.
first frickin time i think i'd EVER been turned on by two women ....
ayayay... so this is how you deal with "not" being jealous, cuz once your boyfriend sees this. he's gonna be in the bathroom for a while, and it ain't gonna be cause of you.
Friday, August 29, 2003
CAN ONE DAY PLEASE BE LONGER THAN 24 HOURS!?!? I WANT TO HAVE TIME TO DO EVERYTHING!!! I HAVE ANOTHER OSA MEETING AT 10.30 IN THE MORNING. AND THAT HAS TO INCLUDE MY USUAL OSA THING FROM 12.30 TILL 3.00 IN THE AFTERNOON. IM GOING TO BE. SO. TIRED.
*cries* no timmmeeee
*cries* no timmmeeee
thought about dreams... thinking bout how one day i'd like to sit behind a desk and be the person in total charge. to have my own business. to have my horses, as many as i'd like on my very own farm.
lol. its such a big dream - but i really pray i get there. i remember how i used to draw my dream farm/ranch out on a paper several times a day starting when i was 4 years old. that's a long time my friend. i'd work through my interior -- to the trees, and the horses, and every stone set on the ground... i was trying to figure out architecture too -- but fat chance of that, cuz it always ended up kinda slanted... that is after i learned what "perspective" was... (vanishing point, etc...) oh and proportion mattered too. haha.
=)
lol. its such a big dream - but i really pray i get there. i remember how i used to draw my dream farm/ranch out on a paper several times a day starting when i was 4 years old. that's a long time my friend. i'd work through my interior -- to the trees, and the horses, and every stone set on the ground... i was trying to figure out architecture too -- but fat chance of that, cuz it always ended up kinda slanted... that is after i learned what "perspective" was... (vanishing point, etc...) oh and proportion mattered too. haha.
=)
"your tito is legendary." teehee. that just hits me as woah. my love is like, woah! kaff kaff. i'm feeling rather happy today. simply, i'm back to exercising and im losing all that depressing weight again. =) ooh and im sore, like all over my body sore -- like if you put my arm up, ill screeaaam sore. oh yes. lol. its a joke.
hmm... and i'm feeling more positive. i just realized, ive accomplished quite a lot for my age. and i can do it. i've become more anti-social, but i'm happy. i have time for what i love most. and i can study a whole lot better. i've also noticed that i haven't been going out as much anymore. and hey, not skipping class! it's a fantastic feeling. =)
i need to go underwear shopping. i saw the cutest underwear last week - different ones with "HUGGABLE" "KISSABLE" or "LOVABLE" on the back. i just started "awwing". i want. =) hmm... and then i saw those cute calvin klein tanks and bottoms... i want cute underwear this time. i want to be cute under my pants from now on. my underwear is pretty boring, i gotta admit. i did find a rebel in my underwear drawer though. this black thong that looks non-existent. must've been for a gown or something ... so i kept him in there, just until i can wear that with pride again. lol.
just noticed how kini and lani and i follow some of the same patterns. hrmm. oh and i opened my fridge, and found jello in it. lots of those little jello thingies. i used to live for those - then thalia goes on the tube. she's cute. but j.lo's still "da bomb".
i feel like watching britney live in hawaii. watcha think?
oh gawd im in major need of help.
hmm... and i'm feeling more positive. i just realized, ive accomplished quite a lot for my age. and i can do it. i've become more anti-social, but i'm happy. i have time for what i love most. and i can study a whole lot better. i've also noticed that i haven't been going out as much anymore. and hey, not skipping class! it's a fantastic feeling. =)
i need to go underwear shopping. i saw the cutest underwear last week - different ones with "HUGGABLE" "KISSABLE" or "LOVABLE" on the back. i just started "awwing". i want. =) hmm... and then i saw those cute calvin klein tanks and bottoms... i want cute underwear this time. i want to be cute under my pants from now on. my underwear is pretty boring, i gotta admit. i did find a rebel in my underwear drawer though. this black thong that looks non-existent. must've been for a gown or something ... so i kept him in there, just until i can wear that with pride again. lol.
just noticed how kini and lani and i follow some of the same patterns. hrmm. oh and i opened my fridge, and found jello in it. lots of those little jello thingies. i used to live for those - then thalia goes on the tube. she's cute. but j.lo's still "da bomb".
i feel like watching britney live in hawaii. watcha think?
oh gawd im in major need of help.
Thursday, August 28, 2003
why is it that we always remember? i keep being reminded about maikai. i trained the little guy from when he was 2. my little jumper. and then i partnered him up with nathalie, a little 12 year old girl. that was the perfect partnership, my little gold medal team. then some woman leaves the wire of her fan, for her spoiled thoroughbred, so that maikai can die. How he was paralized for 3 fucking days without anyone admitting to us that he was electricuted. having me find out for myself when i saw the burns on my horses lips. how i lifted his head and prayed so hard my little horse was going to live. -- i hate being reminded of this.
nathalie's confidence is gone. she's a better rider, but something's gone. i used to look forward to teaching those kids everyday. now i cant even get up in the morning when one of them asks me to come over. sam stopped riding. they stopped asking.
i hate seeing that. she was once again picked on by the teacher that tried to ruin my career as a horsewoman - and she nearly succeeded. but since i left my student - she was able to get a kid, who was just like me, to STOP because according to her WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
but the looks on those kid's faces everytime i came and stopped by to ride. i just loved how they used to all run and hug me. i was the "big sis"...
and yet, i forgive that woman who killed my horse, for ruining all of this. -- it may not seem like much to anyone, but it really meant a lot to me. i cried none-stop for a long time. i can't just stand up and buy another horse and redo this whole chapter in my life. no way.
this is what happens when i visit the farm after 6 months. that's where i should have left him. where i used to play tag with him. i remember my maikai.
nathalie's confidence is gone. she's a better rider, but something's gone. i used to look forward to teaching those kids everyday. now i cant even get up in the morning when one of them asks me to come over. sam stopped riding. they stopped asking.
i hate seeing that. she was once again picked on by the teacher that tried to ruin my career as a horsewoman - and she nearly succeeded. but since i left my student - she was able to get a kid, who was just like me, to STOP because according to her WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
but the looks on those kid's faces everytime i came and stopped by to ride. i just loved how they used to all run and hug me. i was the "big sis"...
and yet, i forgive that woman who killed my horse, for ruining all of this. -- it may not seem like much to anyone, but it really meant a lot to me. i cried none-stop for a long time. i can't just stand up and buy another horse and redo this whole chapter in my life. no way.
this is what happens when i visit the farm after 6 months. that's where i should have left him. where i used to play tag with him. i remember my maikai.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Looks like i broke the pillow... don't ask. it had to do with my fat ass. -- anyways, ive been having a hard time sleeping again. my dreams consist of knowing im asleep, knowing that i'm in darkness - and it makes me concentrate hard on pushing energy out from my body to create a purplish sort of light. so i close my eyes somemore - and i just toss and turn. maybe that's why im so tired when i wake up.
today, after pilates class - i hung around my parents room, when i turned to walk towards my chair and screamed. i had this shooting pain go up my thigh for a split second, and then it was gone. its more annoying than anything else. i also get a slight pain on the left side of my chest sometimes.
i heard the flu's going around, and i'm trying to do everything possible to not let that hit me again. seriously, i can't afford it. i gained 10 pounds when i ended up in the hospital for a month. this is why i'm never going to end up back there.
what i dont understand is how the fuck did i get so weak? i used to be able to do a mile at a full run - and be perfectly fine. maybe i just need to get my endurance up again.
today, after pilates class - i hung around my parents room, when i turned to walk towards my chair and screamed. i had this shooting pain go up my thigh for a split second, and then it was gone. its more annoying than anything else. i also get a slight pain on the left side of my chest sometimes.
i heard the flu's going around, and i'm trying to do everything possible to not let that hit me again. seriously, i can't afford it. i gained 10 pounds when i ended up in the hospital for a month. this is why i'm never going to end up back there.
what i dont understand is how the fuck did i get so weak? i used to be able to do a mile at a full run - and be perfectly fine. maybe i just need to get my endurance up again.
Monday, August 25, 2003
it seems im in need of spiritual guidance.
is that some sort of hint towards turning this naughty kat into something more... wholesome? but i am wholesome. haha, then again, i am taking this way too personally - because it only happened due to the simple fact that i forgot about checking off: "possibly interested in spiritual guidance sessions"
well, that's all i have to rant about for now. do take care. and happy st. monica's feast on the 27th - as my priest says, the mother of all bad boys was born. (yes, he said st. augustine was a quote, unquote, bad boy.)
is that some sort of hint towards turning this naughty kat into something more... wholesome? but i am wholesome. haha, then again, i am taking this way too personally - because it only happened due to the simple fact that i forgot about checking off: "possibly interested in spiritual guidance sessions"
well, that's all i have to rant about for now. do take care. and happy st. monica's feast on the 27th - as my priest says, the mother of all bad boys was born. (yes, he said st. augustine was a quote, unquote, bad boy.)
Sunday, August 24, 2003
What homework i need to do:
1) Finish reading Toer - that's chapters 10-19.
2) Ensci Lab - germinate those seeds.
3) Ensci Proposal - some way to better the world...
4) Christian Civ - Report on Minucius Felix
5) Fine Arts - what the hell are we going to do???
1) Finish reading Toer - that's chapters 10-19.
2) Ensci Lab - germinate those seeds.
3) Ensci Proposal - some way to better the world...
4) Christian Civ - Report on Minucius Felix
5) Fine Arts - what the hell are we going to do???
it seems my other journal became very public - strangling any means of real expression. this morning, i got up, and i was in the best of moods - until i recieve a text saying that my friend isnt going to go with me. and that just stunk. but, i can't quite blame it on her - though bummed - blame it on her family. i know i really shouldn't, but sometimes - it just pisses the hell out of me. then, my mother and i get into a hideous fight - she expects an apology when it isnt my fault. good gawd.
so now the woman's ignoring me - but i did hear some great news about a friend of mine.
call it balance if you must.
so now the woman's ignoring me - but i did hear some great news about a friend of mine.
call it balance if you must.
